Well, life once again is great. I sort of had a revelation about life, what I want to do with it, my ex and the whole dramatic situation, and a few things.

Ultimately, for me it was easier to bury the past as a whole, from the very beginning way back in 2004 when Drew Hegner died. But because of Drew's death and everything related to it, good or bad, are things that have shaped me into who I am now. If I didn't acknowledge that part of me, then I wasn't truly being myself. I've accepted I can't bring Drew back from the grave, I can't save my ex and her mental/personal problems/history. I can't make people love me, and I can't make people who I considered family appreciate me in the same way.

I am an Eagle Scout, a Vigil Honor Member of the OA, I've served as a leader within the ranks of an organization, a brother of the Zeta Chi, a camp staffer, a role model to the 3 schools I served for after school programs, etc. To deny where it all started and the things that have stemmed from it all would literally kill who I am. I am sick of hearing things, and trying to avoid them simply because of the topic. A few nights ago I was talking to Jess about life, and it seemed everything clicked and I was born again. I rose from the proverbial ashes of my previous misery. Cinerabus Ex Resurgam! From the Ashes I Will Rise!

A good friend of mine {GCC}Mongo floated me a copy of Call of Duty 4, and I've been extremely hooked into the game. This game is definitely great stand alone seperately from the previous 3 CoDs. It was a game that I wanted to beat, I couldn't get enough of it. It's multiplayer isn't jading like Battlefield 2. Right now I'm a Captain I (rank 31, if memory serves), and that's about after a week and a half of 90 min gaming sessions every other night. It's not exactly power leveling, but it's enough between the ranks, challenges, and the weapons to keep me entertained. It is, also enough to make me consider going out and getting Call of Duty 5: World at War despite the fact that it's not made by Infinity Ward. All in all, to me it reminds me of the game play of CS, with the rank/battle system of BF2.

Another thing in the realm of gaming, I finally tackled HL2. I wasn't impressed, it didn't seem to grab my attention until the very end when you're breaking into the heart of City 17. Episode One isn't supposed to be that great... But Episode Two redeemed it. From what I've heard, at least. And, once the L4D scenario and other big titles start clearing desks at Valve, Episode Three shall be budding soon.

In the realm of other entertainment, I am officially hooked into the TV series Firefly. I had an extremely good time watching it, it's a shame that it got cancelled. I did some of the back research, and it's amazing how Fox ultimately set the show up to fail from the very beginning. Also rented Kung Fu Panda and Run Fatboy Run. Both were pretty funny, I laughed my bum off at the accupuncture part in KFP.

Also, getting back to IRC. I'm hanging out in the #xkcd channel on foonet, and #tfcgaschamber on gamesurge.

Also, a big shout out to the Gas Chamber Crew {GCC}, the gaming admins at the Gas Chamber Gaming Community for helping me out as of late. I <3 my friends. lol

http://www.tfcgaschamber.com/

Oh, and I liek taturtots.

*throws a smoke bomb and disappears ninja liek*